My "General Petraeus" motorist cheating on his wife...

Ok, I never had the pleasure of representing General Petraeus, but I wanted discuss a rather comical dmv story involving adultery.

A few weeks ago, I had a customer with 4 child seatbelt tickets that retained me to fight his tickets.  Now, if we lost the 4 tickets, he would have gotten 12 points, over one thousand dollars in fines, and an almost certain suspension from the judge.

As his attorney, I decided to delay his ticket a couple of times until we got the most favorable judge for someone in his circumstances.  The police officer who wrote his ticket was a good one and rarely lost any tickets.

When we had the best judge possible, we fought his case and despite the officer putting in a flawless case against us, I was still able to talk the judge into throwing out one of the tickets.  It was all we needed to prevent a suspension.  I felt bad that my client had 9 points but I was going to explain to him my old, "we cut the foot off, but the body didn't die," procedure we went through to avoid the suspension-- but surprisingly, he was joyous.

He explained afterwards, that the only thing he cared about was avoiding the suspension.  He didn't want his wife to find out that he was suspended because he would then have to explain the 4 children and their tickets.  Umm ... the 4 children of the other woman he was seeing. (Don't even go there, I didn't want to ask if they were his children, it wasn't my business to pry.)

He even told me he had to lie to his wife about appearing in traffic court for the 3 times we postponed his case.

He paid his fines and left hoping not to get caught in his lies.  As his attorney, I remembered to tell him to watch out for the driver assessment fee that arrives in the mail with additional fees outlining the charges and specifying "child seatbelt."  He was going to be checking the mailbox anxiously for the next few days to get that letter before his wife saw it.