Satan Helped Me Win My Traffic Tickets!

Victor Bernace, Esq. assisted by co-counsel, Satan for the motorist

I fought a case today against a tough police officer that usually wins.  My client had gotten 3 tickets from him that would have resulted in 7 points and approximately $1,000 in fines.  

I had warned my client that in these type of cases, I obviously try to win all his tickets but the most likely scenario is a "merger" of his tickets.  A judge will see that perhaps my client deserved 1 ticket or 2 tickets at most but that the 3rd ticket was duplicative and it would be "merged" which is a nice legal way of saying it gets dismissed.

In his case, I actually was able to get all 3 tickets dismissed!

I called the client on the phone to tell him the exciting news.

Satan wins bronx traffic ticket

My client thanked me excitedly and then told me he knew we would win 1 ticket because of my prior consultation but that he had gone to a "Brujo" or witch doctor also for a consultation.  The Brujo used the black arts and put a satanic curse on the police officer so the remaining 2 tickets would be dismissed.

I tried to explain exactly why I had managed to win-- I had studied his tickets, written detailed notes looking for mistakes, had cross examined the officer, used my Harvard trained analytical skills to find weaknesses -- it didn't matter, he kept excitedly telling me how his satanic curse had won the remaining tickets.