Victor Bernace, Esq. assisted by co-counsel, Satan for the motorist
I fought a case today against a tough police officer that usually wins. My client had gotten 3 tickets from him that would have resulted in 7 points and approximately $1,000 in fines.
I had warned my client that in these type of cases, I obviously try to win all his tickets but the most likely scenario is a "merger" of his tickets. A judge will see that perhaps my client deserved 1 ticket or 2 tickets at most but that the 3rd ticket was duplicative and it would be "merged" which is a nice legal way of saying it gets dismissed.
In his case, I actually was able to get all 3 tickets dismissed!
I called the client on the phone to tell him the exciting news.
My client thanked me excitedly and then told me he knew we would win 1 ticket because of my prior consultation but that he had gone to a "Brujo" or witch doctor also for a consultation. The Brujo used the black arts and put a satanic curse on the police officer so the remaining 2 tickets would be dismissed.
I tried to explain exactly why I had managed to win-- I had studied his tickets, written detailed notes looking for mistakes, had cross examined the officer, used my Harvard trained analytical skills to find weaknesses -- it didn't matter, he kept excitedly telling me how his satanic curse had won the remaining tickets.